News 12/04/2025 00:12

Am I Wrong for Being Upset That My Mom Quit Her Job to "Live for Herself" Instead of Helping With My Mortgage?

My name is David, and I’m a 35-year-old father juggling a full-time job, a mortgage, and the responsibilities of raising a young child. Life has not been easy lately, and every dollar counts. So when my mom, Linda, announced that she was quitting her job to “live for herself,” I’ll be honest—I felt angry, confused, and, frankly, a little betrayed.

Linda has always been the rock of our family. She worked tirelessly as a single mother after my dad left when I was a kid. She instilled in me and my brother the importance of financial stability, working hard, and planning for the future. Her sacrifices are the reason we made it through some incredibly tough years.

That’s why her recent decision to retire at 67 hit me so hard. She didn’t retire because of health reasons or physical limitations—she retired because, in her words, she “wants to enjoy life now.” She talks about traveling, painting, taking walks in the park, and finally doing all the things she’s put off for decades.

It would be a beautiful sentiment if I weren’t drowning in expenses. I have a mortgage that eats up most of my income, a toddler who needs constant care, and rising bills that never seem to slow down. A little help from her—whether monthly support or helping save for her grandson's education—would go a long way. She could’ve worked just two or three more years, built up a cushion for the family, or at least made things easier during this rough patch in my life.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve happiness or rest. Of course she does. But isn’t family about supporting each other, especially when one member is struggling? To me, it feels like she’s choosing her short-term joy over our collective stability, and that’s been hard for me to accept.


Hi everyone. Grandma here — Linda.

I want to share my side because this story has more layers than just finances and feelings.

I love my sons, David and Michael, more than anything. When my husband left me at 35, I made a choice: to dedicate everything I had to raising them right. That meant working nights, giving up vacations, skipping things I wanted, and pouring every ounce of energy into making sure my boys never went without.

Now I’m 67. And for the first time in decades, I’ve asked myself: what do I want? The answer wasn’t more work or more stress. It was peace. It was time. It was walking under the trees without rushing to clock in. It was trying watercolor painting without feeling guilty. It was finally living for me.

I’m not rich, but I’ve lived frugally and saved enough to support myself modestly. I didn’t quit to party or spend wildly—I quit to rest, to breathe, to exist as a person, not just as a provider.

I understand David is going through a hard time. But I also believe that I’ve earned the right to step back. I raised my children with the values and tools they need to stand on their own. I didn’t raise them to be dependent on me forever.

Wanting to live my final decades with joy and freedom doesn’t make me selfish. It makes me human. And honestly, I hope one day David will see that choosing yourself isn't abandoning others—it’s honoring the life you’ve worked so hard to build.


Final thoughts:

This situation doesn’t have a clear right or wrong. David’s frustration comes from stress and love—he’s overwhelmed and expected the support he once knew. Linda’s decision comes from years of giving, and finally needing space to receive something for herself.

Maybe what’s needed here isn’t judgment, but compassion. Both are navigating different seasons of life, both are trying their best—and both deserve to be heard.

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